During college, I worked two part-time jobs while maintaining my GPA, yet during breaks he’d question why I wasn’t interning at more prestigious companies. After graduation, I refused his half-hearted offer to work at his company, knowing I’d never be seen as anything but a pity hire. Instead, I moved to New York City with nothing but two suitcases and determination, sleeping on a friend’s couch while applying to every financial firm I could find.
When I finally landed an entry-level position at Goldman Sachs, his response was, let’s see if you last a month. I did last, not just a month but eight years, working my way up without family connections or nepotism, fueled partly by passion but also by a desperate need to prove him wrong. Just last month, I’d received a major promotion to senior investment, strategist, becoming the youngest person in the firm’s history to hold the position.
The salary bump was substantial, allowing me to finally buy my dream apartment in Manhattan and still have savings left over. It was with those savings that I made what I thought would be a grand gesture, purchasing a brand new Mercedes S-Class for my father for Father’s Day. In my fantasy, this gift would finally make him see me as successful, as worthy of his approval.
The car cost nearly a year’s salary, but I convinced myself it would be worth it to hear him say he was proud of me. Looking back now, I can see how pathetic that need for validation was, how it had shaped every major decision in my life. My achievements weren’t truly for me but were weapons in an unwinnable war for his affection.
When I bought that car, I wasn’t just buying a luxury vehicle, I was trying to buy what every child deserves freely, a parent’s unconditional love. The annual Matthews family reunion always fell on the last weekend in June, conveniently close to Father’s Day, which meant the gathering doubled as a celebration of Richard Matthews’ patriarchal status. This year would be no different, except that I had made the decision to finally stand out by purchasing that ridiculously expensive luxury car, a sleek black Mercedes S-Class with all the premium features father had once mentioned admiring at a country club friend’s home.
As the date approached, my anxiety spiraled to new heights. I spent three weekends shopping for the perfect outfit, something that screamed successful but not trying too hard, feminine but not frivolous, the contradictory mix my father seemed to expect from women in business. I settled on a navy blue, tailored dress from a designer my mother mentioned he respected, with subtle gold jewelry and shoes that were expensive but not flashy.
The familiar pattern of preparation felt pathetic even as I participated in it, the desperate routine of a child still seeking approval at 32. Past reunions flashed through my mind as I packed, each one marked by some form of paternal disappointment. When I was 16 and won the state math competition, he’d questioned why I wasn’t focusing more on debate since numbers people are easy to find.
When I graduated college summa cum laude, his only comment was that my chosen field was unstable compared to real estate. My first bonus at Goldman resulted in him wondering aloud if finance was really just glorified gambling, and my first promotion led to questions about whether I’d been selected to fill a gender quota. Nothing was ever an achievement on its own merits, always tainted by his skepticism.
But this year carried an additional complication, one that had rocked the foundations of my identity just three months earlier. A popular genetic testing service, one I’d used out of simple curiosity about my ancestry, had revealed something unexpected. The genetic markers didn’t align with being Richard Matthews’s biological daughter.
After the initial shock and disbelief, I’d quietly pursued a more definitive test, obtaining DNA samples from my father’s hairbrush during a brief visit home. The results were conclusive and sat now in a sealed envelope in my purse, a nuclear option I hadn’t decided whether to deploy. The discovery explained so much, the lifelong feeling of being an outsider in my own family, the subtle physical differences no one acknowledged, the inexplicable coldness from a man who showed at least basic affection to his other children.
I suspected he knew, had always known, and that knowledge had colored every interaction we’d ever had. The day before the reunion, I drove the new Mercedes to my parents’ suburban Boston home, having arranged for delivery to a nearby dealership. I’d planned the presentation carefully, arriving mid-afternoon when mother would be at her garden club meeting, ensuring a private moment for this peace offering.
My father answered the door in his usual crisp, business-casual attire, despite it being a Saturday, looking mildly annoyed at the interruption. «‘Eliza, you’re early. The reunion isn’t until tomorrow,’ he said, checking his watch as if I’d missed an appointment.
«‘I know, Dad. I actually brought your Father’s Day gift early and wanted to give it to you privately,’ I explained, heart-pounding as I handed him a small box containing the car key with the Mercedes emblem clearly visible. He opened it with the polite, detached manner he reserved for obligatory gifts, his expression shifting to surprise as he recognized the logo.
«‘Is this some kind of joke?’ he asked, and I guided him to the front window, where the brand-new car sat gleaming in the sssss driveway. His face registered genuine shock followed by something almost like pleasure, but it faded quickly to his usual analytical expression. «‘This is excessive, Eliza.
What are you trying to prove?’ he asked, though he was already moving toward the front door, key in hand. «‘Nothing,’ I lied. I got a big promotion, and I wanted to do something special for you.’ He circled the car, twice examining it like he might a property investment, noting features, asking pointed questions about financing and insurance that felt more like an interrogation than gratitude.
After a brief test drive where he commented on the steering being a bit loose despite the car’s renowned handling, he parked it in the garage rather than leaving it in the driveway where guests might see it. His thanks were perfunctory, followed immediately by a comment that I «‘must be doing well to waste money like this,’ effectively cutting the legs out from under my grand gesture. That evening, I called my best friend Taylor from my hotel room, fighting back tears as I recounted the cold reception.
«‘You know what? Forget him,’ Taylor said with the righteous anger of a friend who’d heard too many similar stories. «‘Take the car back. He doesn’t deserve it.’ I dismissed the suggestion, still clinging to hope that tomorrow would be different, that in front of others he might show appreciation, might finally see me.
«‘Just promise me you won’t show him that test,’ Taylor warned before hanging up. «‘Not unless you’re prepared for nuclear fallout,’ I promised, but the envelope remained in my purse, a secret weapon I both feared and couldn’t quite relinquish. Sunday afternoon arrived with perfect June weather, sunny with a gentle breeze, as if the environment itself was conspiring to create the illusion of the perfect family gathering.
I took the long route to my parents’ estate, using the drive to «‘rehearse confident responses to the inevitable questions about my personal life, my career trajectory, my lack of a husband or children at the ancient age of 32. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel as I turned onto the familiar maple-lined driveway, already half-filled with luxury cars belonging to extended family and my father’s business associates, who somehow always made the invite list for supposedly intimate family gatherings. I spotted the Mercedes I’d gifted him prominently displayed near the front entrance rather than in its garage spot from yesterday, strategically positioned where arriving guests couldn’t miss it.