Teresa Washington, a formidable divorce attorney recommended by Natalie, laid out the reality of my situation. Illinois is an equitable distribution state, she explained. Without a prenuptial agreement, the court will divide marital assets based on what they deem fair, not necessarily equal.
I learned about our financial entanglements, the complexity of divorcing someone with family money, and the importance of documenting everything. Teresa advised me to gather information about all our assets, accounts, and investments before making any moves. Knowledge is power, especially in divorce, she said.
My cautious information gathering came to an abrupt halt when James discovered my browser history on our shared computer. I had forgotten to use private browsing for one search. Divorce financial discovery process.
His rage was immediate and frightening. He cornered me in our kitchen, waving his phone with the screenshot he’d taken. Is this what you’ve been doing? Planning to divorce me and take my money? His face was red, a vein pulsing in his forehead.
Let me make this clear, Alexandra. You’ll have nothing without me. Nothing.
My family’s lawyers will make sure of it. I remained calm, which only infuriated him more. I’m not planning anything, James.
I was just researching after what happened. Wouldn’t you do the same? He seemed mollified by my explanation, but the threat lingered between us. That night, I moved all my important business documents to a secure cloud storage and began transferring digital records to drives I kept in a safety deposit box James knew nothing about.
The final discovery came three weeks later. While organizing our closet, a task James never participated in, I found a jewelry box tucked inside his winter boots. Inside was a receipt for a diamond bracelet from Tiffany’s dated two months prior.
I had never received such a gift. Even knowing about the affair, this evidence of his tangible investment in another woman stung in a way I hadn’t expected. The receipt showed he had spent nearly fifteen thousand dollars, money that was supposedly our money, on Vanessa.
Before I could process this new betrayal, I heard the front door open. Voices, James and a woman, laughed in our entryway. I remained frozen in our closet as they entered our bedroom, clearly not expecting me home in the middle of the day.
I stepped out to find James and Vanessa embracing at the foot of our bed, the bed we had shared for five years. Alexandra. James exclaimed, not bothering to step away from Vanessa.
You’re supposed to be at work. I took a half day, I replied, surprised by my own composure. Clearly I should have called first.
What followed was not the emotional confrontation movies had prepared me for. Instead, James became coldly pragmatic. Well, this saves me having to have a difficult conversation, he said.
Straightening his tie. I want a divorce, Alexandra. Vanessa and I are planning a future together.
His confidence was absolute as he outlined his terms. He would generously allow me to keep my personal items and a small settlement that would help me get back on my feet. The condo.
Our investments, even the art we had collected together would remain his. My lawyers will be in touch, he concluded, seemingly confused by my lack of hysteria or pleading. You should find somewhere else to stay starting tonight.
Actually, I said, as this is still legally my residence too, I’ll be staying. You and Vanessa are welcome to find a hotel. His face darkened at my defiance, but Vanessa tugged at his arm.
Let’s go, James. We can deal with this later. As they left, James turned back with one parting shot.
You’ll regret not taking my generous offer. By the time my lawyers are done, you’ll be lucky to afford a studio apartment in the worst part of town. I closed the door behind them.
Leaned against it, and for the first time since discovering his affair, I smiled. James had no idea what was coming. The day after I caught James and Vanessa in our bedroom.
He moved most of his clothes and personal items out of the condo. I changed the locks that same afternoon, legally questionable. But it gave me time to properly document our belongings before he could remove anything valuable.
James’s assumption about my financial naivety quickly became apparent in the initial settlement offer his lawyer sent over. A one-time payment of $75,000 and six months of living expenses. In exchange, I would make no claims on any of our other assets, including the condo I had helped furnish and decorate over five years.
He’s testing the waters, Teresa explained when I showed her the offer. He’s assuming you don’t know your rights or the true extent of your marital assets. With Teresa’s guidance, I formally rejected the offer and began the process of financial discovery, a legal mechanism requiring both parties to disclose all assets and liabilities.
James’s response was to have his lawyer delay and obfuscate at every turn. This is a standard tactic, Teresa assured me. They’re hoping to drain your resources and patience until you accept less than you deserve.
What James didn’t realize was that I wasn’t depending on his disclosures. I had been tracking our joint finances meticulously for years, including accounts he thought I didn’t know about. More importantly, I had my own growing resources that he knew nothing about.
After careful consideration and consultation with Teresa, we made a strategic decision. I would temporarily hide the true value of my business and investments during the initial phases of negotiation. Illinois law generally considered businesses started during marriage to be marital property.
But Teresa identified a potential exception based on the fact that James had actively discouraged my business and provided no support, financial or otherwise, in its creation. We’ll disclose everything at the right time, she assured me. But for now, let’s let him believe his own narrative about you.
While the legal process inched forward, James launched a social offensive. Mutual friends began avoiding my calls. Invitations to social events dried up.
Even the doorman at our building, who had always been friendly, became coldly professional. I later learned that James had been spreading a narrative that I had cheated on him, that I was mentally unstable, and that he was divorcing me despite his best efforts to save our marriage. In the circles where his family name carried weight, his version of events was accepted without question.
The pain of this social exile was unexpectedly sharp. People I had broken bread with, celebrated holidays with, shared confidences with, all vanished from my life based on James’s lies. All except Sophia and Natalie, who never wavered in their support.